And, well, that's pretty much it. Truly. That's all there is to a TWO AND THREE QUARTER HOUR MOVIE.

Mr. Otter and I were having a day at the local movie theaters; this was #3, and we had just seen two wonderful movies: The Wrestler and Gran Torino. And we were all set to go three for three...but no.

I mean, this movie is beautifully made. The cinematography, the sets, the costumes. Lovely.

The cast is excellent: Brad Pitt as the eponymous Button, Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton. As well as a host of others, it's a big cast.

The writing isn't bad, the movie sort of kept our interest all the way through. Although I did see Mr. Otter look at his watch more than once.

And I have to say, I thought it was taken from a book. I kept thinking, well, maybe this is a quiet and introspective book and the movie is just being faithful to it. But no...there is NO BOOK. it's an original screenplay. And I have seen quiet and introspective movies that I liked...I'm sure I've seen AT LEAST one...

But the problem is: NOTHING HAPPENS. In the WHOLE MOVIE. I mean, sure, you see Benjamin's life, lived backwards, and you see his interactions with others, including the girl he falls in love with when he is old and has to wait for til he gets young enough and she gets old enough. But it's not romantic, it's just a matter of time. None of these people actually seem to be engaged with each other, they're just running into each other as they pass through life.

And maybe that's the point. And Button (who narrates the movie through his journal, read by the daughter of a woman who is dying in a hospital, whom we very soon find out is the woman Button is in love with his whole life) says something about life and enjoying things while you have them or something, but it really didn't matter.

Because by that point, NOBODY CARED. We had all realized that there was no there there, and just wanted it to be over.

This might have been bearable if it had been an hour shorter. But with no real plot to speak of, there was absolutely no excuse for dragging this out as long as it was.

Avoid this one like the plague. If you MUST see it, rent it so you can fast forward through the parts where nothing happens. Most of it, that is.