Okay, so this is one of the most famous movies ever. The number of people who have mentioned it to me as a classic, as a triumph of filmmaking, writing, or acting, as their favorite movie ever, is a higher number than I can easily count to. Even using my toes.

And now let me digress.

Some years ago Mr. Otter and I went to Victoria, BC, Canada. Before the trip, whenever we mentioned where we were going, whoever we were talking to would say, Butchart Gardens! You MUST go to Butchart Gardens! seriously, this was all ANYONE said about Victoria. They didn't tell us about the DeHavilland Otter seaplanes that fly in and out of the harbor, which is the city's airport. They didn't mention the water taxis, which do a dance to the Blue Danube once a week in said harbor. They did not talk about the amazing park down the street from our bed and breakfast where I saw not only blue herons but bald eagles nesting and feeding their chicks. They did not even mention the natural history museum, which Mr. Otter and I thought was quite fine. No. All anyone said was, YOU GOTTA GO SEE BUTCHART GARDENS.

So we did.

And we were mightily underimpressed. Pretty, but not so much of a much. Not for people who grew up in Southern California and have been to the Huntington Museum and Library. We were completely nonplussed.

And yet...that feeling was so much superior to the feeling I had, after YEARS of people telling me what a great movie Grand Hotel is, while I was actually watching it.

Because, folks, it ain't. And I know GATADD is reading this and nodding his head, he has said for years how he hates this movie and how bad it is. (And I hope that memory is accurate, because if it isn't, I'm going to get a corrective email...ouch.)

This movie is just awful. It takes a bunch of characters that one cares nothing about, things happen to them, they interact (and overact) and the movie ends with some stories resolved and others not. It's not funny and it's not romantic. Garbo's famous line, I want to be alone, comes from this movie, and I can see how she'd want them to lock her in a room rather than make her play the ridiculous part she's forced to play.

So yes, the cast includes Garbo, two Barrymores (John and Lionel), a very young Joan Crawford, Wallace Beery and a whole bunch of other people. The quote is famous, and in 2007 Grand Hotel was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant."

But seriously? don't bother. Mr. Otter, the Mermaid and I kept saying, why is this famous? this is just awful. We could have turned it off, but it was kind of like watching a train wreck, we were just watching everyone crash and burn...hard to look away.

You may express your gratitude to me by email for saving you from the cinematic equivalent of Butchart Gardens. You're welcome.