Okay, you really want to know what it's about? Meryl Streep owns a hotel on a Greek island. Her daughter is getting married tomorrow. Said daughter has found Mom's old diary, and has found out that her father (about whom her mother will say nothing) was one of three guys...and the daughter invites them all to the wedding.

You had to ask, didn't you?

Now here's the most important part:

Pierce Brosnan sings.

Yes, you read that correctly, and my execrable typing skills did not fail me.

Let me run that by you again, just so you can grok it in fullness:

PIERCE. BROSNAN. SINGS.

That was the part I only heard about half an hour before we left for the movie, as I was on desk with my boss, who had seen it and liked it. And it didn't really sink in until I was in the movie theater, and the previews were going by, and I thought, did she really say that? Really?

Yes, folks, it's true.

Pierce Brosnan, the man of wood. Singing.

Now, don't get me wrong. This is a very cute movie. Meryl Streep (who CAN sing) gives it her all, and is charming and lovely. The kids are adorable. The setting is full of sunlight and water and makes me LONG to go to Greece (bet tourism jumps this next year, with this movie out).

But. PIERCE BROSNAN. And he's SINGING.

Now, I have to say, I'm not an Abba fan. Sure, there are about five songs of theirs (one of which is not in this movie because there's no way to fit it in) that I recognize and can sing along with on the radio and not mind them except the part where they get STUCK in my HEAD for WEEKS and even POUNDING my HEAD on the DESK doesn't DISLODGE them...where was I?

Oh, yes. The music is fun, bouncy, cute...but it's TWO HOURS of Abba songs, and once the five we've all heard on the radio are done, there are still about a dozen more to listen to. Including one that makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE in context, Meryl Streep on a mountain singing to Pierce Brosnan (who does indeed <shudder> SING, although not here)...I kept listening to the lyrics about winners take all and stuff, and could not figure out what it had to do with her actual situation, except to show that she was in emotional turmoil. Anyway. When you boil the whole thing down, the music is like eating a bit too much cotton candy. No, like eating WAY too much cotton candy, til your stomach hurts and you have those little fur jackets on your teeth. Too much Abba is WAY too much Abba.

And of course, there's the whole Pierce Brosnan singing part. That was extremely difficult to deal with, three (count 'em) three songs, and by the last one I was sinking into my seat wondering if the other three people in the theater for the 10-pm-on-Monday-night show would notice if I put my hands over my ears and moaned. I refrained, barely.

Because, although he's good looking and old enough to be believeable as the father...he REALLY shouldn't be singing. I know, Hollywood is full of stars agreeing unwisely to sing in movies where it is necessary...but even Sean Connery did better in his.

This was so not a good choice. Especially since his character was supposed to have BEEN a rock star. Sure, there are a lot of rock stars who can't sing, we all know that. And Brosnan (who was SINGING, OH MY GOD) was pretty much on key.

But I have said before that the Man of Wood, Pierce Brosnan, has the amazing superpower of showing absolutely no expression, even when he tries real hard...and his singing is no exception.

It was painful.

Okay, so what was good? as I said above, bright and colorful and a lot of cute kids. Mr. Otter's Golden Love Object, Meryl Streep, was fine. And this was another of those affirmation movies for women d'un certain age, letting them know that life doesn't stop when you age, so if you like that kind of thing, get your ya-yas and come see it, you'll like that part of it. Christine Baranski, in particular, was wonderful. And stay for the two musical numbers during/after the credits, they're way better than the movie.

But be warned: Pierce Brosnan. Singing.

I wonder if some heavy drinking will help me edit that part of the movie right out of my brain...or maybe seeing some Abba done well...I'll go watch The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert again, that should do the trick...

Good luck.